Blog 2 -- In Every Season

The Desert Song

This is my prayer in the desert
When all that's within me feels dry
This is my prayer in the hunger and need
My God is the god who provides
This is my prayer in the fire
In weakness or trial or pain
There is a faith proved to more worth than gold
So refine me Lord through this flame

I will bring praise, I will bring praise
No weapon formed against me shall remain
I will rejoice, I will declare
God is my victory and He is here

This is my prayer in the battle
When triumph is still on its way
I am a conqueror and co-heir with Christ
So firm on His promise I'll stand

I will bring praise, I will bring praise
No weapon formed against me shall remain
I will rejoice, I will declare
God is my victory and He is here

All of my life

In every season

You are still God
I have a reason to sing
I have a reason to worship

This is my prayer in the harvest
When favor and providence flow
I know I'm filled to be emptied again
The seed I've received, I will sow

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I'm sure it's obvious by now, that I speak in song. So I'll continue... Last weekend at Camden County, we played the above song, "The Desert Song" in our worship set. First of all, let me say that this has been a song that I've loved for a while now. Brooke Fraser is pretty close to being categorized as an infatuation of mine. Lyrically, vocally, and musically, the girl is setting new standards for female musicians in both the Christian and secular arenas. So, naturally I would like this song of hers. But beyond the initial bias, the song itself has been one that has been speaking to me a lot recently. It's time to get personal.

• My Desert: The finals days of this internship have heaped more load than I can handle. I have found myself "dehydrated" and in need of refreshing. I'm trying to look ahead and continue to forge, but the panting is becoming more and more audible--not only to myself but to others. I need you Lord to provide--time, strength, finances, productivity, and rejuvenation in You.

• My Fire: There are attacks that have been coming right and left towards my family. My mom is recovering from cancer and in the process a recent "scare" surfaced and has to be tested. My sister is 2 months pregnant and awaiting test results within the next week, regarding symptoms of a miscarriage. Lord, in these trials I pray we are refined and our faith in You is strengthened as we place our hope in You.

• My Battle: Building my confidence has been a constant battle of mine. I have come a long way and I know one day soon I will have the victory over it for good. While triumph is still on its way, Lord help me realize who I am in You--Your daughter & co-heir with Christ.

No matter what we are each facing, we will continue to praise God.
No attacks of the enemy will prosper over the Children of God.
We have already received the victory when Christ died on the cross for us and conquered death.
No matter how dry, hot, or painful a season may be---God is still God.
And that gives us reason enough to sing & praise His name!

This song really is my prayer.

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My Challenge & Response:
Be a true worshipper - That I can take all the pieces & fragments of my life--family, finances, school--bring them together, and aim them straight at God.

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Additional Info:
Check out this story of the co-writer of the song, Jill, about the response to her own loss during the recording of the song.

The Desert Song -- Story -- Click Here

Blog 1 -- "I've got my life in a suitcase...I'm ready to run, run away."

The lyrics speak for themselves & many times I find myself relating completely with them. At this point in my life I still haven't found myself in a place that is what I would consider "comfortable."

Still single...

Still seeking all the answers...

Still searching for my place in this world...

And yet the idea of finding this "comfortable" place isn't very comforting to me. I'm always worried that I'll find myself settled and, as a result, subdue the very cravings my soul has inside to find something more in this world. Every time a chapter in my life is coming to a close, such as my internship here at Celebration, I find myself in this same place. Fearful of becoming too settled, too comfortable, I begin entertaining thoughts to drastically change my life. Weird, huh?

Here are the thoughts floating through my head these final few months of this internship:

Should I move back with my family in Orlando?
Should I move to Tennessee and go to the music college there that I once looked into?
Should I go back to South Florida to continue my Master's of Architecture degree?
Or should I just stay here?

While I'm not sure of any of the answers to these questions at this point, I'll share what I feel God has been teaching me recently in this area of my life.

I'm currently experiencing the tension of living here on this earth and eternity. Of course my soul is craving more in this life... I am craving ETERNITY. And unless Jesus comes back right now, I'll continue living with these desires. The lyrics Brooke Fraser writes to a song of hers from the words of C.S. Lewis say it completely.

"If I find in myself desires nothing in this world can satisfy,
I can only conclude that I was not made for here.
If the flesh that I fight is at best only light and momentary,
then of course I'll feel nude when to where I'm destined I'm compared."

So my goal is to never hush the cravings my soul has, but realize their root. Realize God has placed me here for such a time as this, and continue to thrive in what He has placed into my hands. I know He will "fill in the blanks" as this internship draws to a close. So until then I will unpack my suitcase...but ALWAYS be prepared to pack it back it up when He gives me "the nod."

Here I am Lord, your servant, I'm willing & available. Use me.

Lindz