Blog 1 -- "I've got my life in a suitcase...I'm ready to run, run away."

The lyrics speak for themselves & many times I find myself relating completely with them. At this point in my life I still haven't found myself in a place that is what I would consider "comfortable."

Still single...

Still seeking all the answers...

Still searching for my place in this world...

And yet the idea of finding this "comfortable" place isn't very comforting to me. I'm always worried that I'll find myself settled and, as a result, subdue the very cravings my soul has inside to find something more in this world. Every time a chapter in my life is coming to a close, such as my internship here at Celebration, I find myself in this same place. Fearful of becoming too settled, too comfortable, I begin entertaining thoughts to drastically change my life. Weird, huh?

Here are the thoughts floating through my head these final few months of this internship:

Should I move back with my family in Orlando?
Should I move to Tennessee and go to the music college there that I once looked into?
Should I go back to South Florida to continue my Master's of Architecture degree?
Or should I just stay here?

While I'm not sure of any of the answers to these questions at this point, I'll share what I feel God has been teaching me recently in this area of my life.

I'm currently experiencing the tension of living here on this earth and eternity. Of course my soul is craving more in this life... I am craving ETERNITY. And unless Jesus comes back right now, I'll continue living with these desires. The lyrics Brooke Fraser writes to a song of hers from the words of C.S. Lewis say it completely.

"If I find in myself desires nothing in this world can satisfy,
I can only conclude that I was not made for here.
If the flesh that I fight is at best only light and momentary,
then of course I'll feel nude when to where I'm destined I'm compared."

So my goal is to never hush the cravings my soul has, but realize their root. Realize God has placed me here for such a time as this, and continue to thrive in what He has placed into my hands. I know He will "fill in the blanks" as this internship draws to a close. So until then I will unpack my suitcase...but ALWAYS be prepared to pack it back it up when He gives me "the nod."

Here I am Lord, your servant, I'm willing & available. Use me.

Lindz